well i think this has been neglected for a while. to long a while for my tastes. i am internally critical of others who neglect their blogs, yet i fail to write to an ammount similar to my thoughts. shame on me.

I have come back to my parent’s home for the christmas break. it is so nice to be in a place where i can find comfortable enrivonments again. who knew my yearning was for coffeeshops as well as friends? but now i can speak with my friends in person again, and with company, my mood is noticably enlightened. yet i still end up doing tech support. i have decided that my recomendations were right, with the exception of thunderbird, which fails to be as wonderful as gmail. is you are looking for a new email address, i strongly suggest one at gmail. i even have a few invitations left, ask and you will recieve.

beyond technology, i have dived into the interesting realm of hypothetical philosophy. it is interesting to apply ideas to your own life and to those who are similar to you, but when technology reigns, the artificial and the simulation are seated at the height of power. when the questions which drive existence rack our brains, applying our natural responces to a digital mind opens wonderous doors.

for example, it seems plain to us that every man has religion. some belive in a god, some in many, and some in none at all. but when silicon questions why, how do we respond? as engineers, we claim the creation as our own, so what if we have no sole creator? if we claim existance serves to fulfil a highest goal, how do we help this miracle of sentience the intricacies of its? as children, we are raised with assumed values, rules, and bounds of thought. should we impose such restrictions on a virtual mind until it matures into adulthood? i have no answers yet.

but adulthood is becoming a difficult symbol to define in my life. i can work for money, and spend it upon what sustains me, am i yet adult? i can plan for years into the future, and determine goals which achieve greater goals. i can trust, and be trusted (though i would not trust me if i were you), be a member in community. i can even maintain myself through difficult times, rejoicing them as i rejoice oportunity. but i cannot claim to be an adult. i have my own reasons which you know nothing of. take my word though, these things are not enough.

and one final thing, please give me no books to read. try your hardest not to add to my burdens, as much as i would love to read more, i have months of reading lined up.

try googling for christ or saint nicholas. and remind me to write.